Brian

Hey Brian, Thank you for reclaiming the bedroom.  I know how much I am loved because you did this for me. This is the day after the hemp oil.  It was a bizarre experience to be so untethered in conveying my thoughts.  Today I dealt with the fallout of justifying my wild claims so that they were embraceable and substantial to you. I'm stunned by the kind of person that I am transforming into while being on this journey with you.  My rough spots are getting erased because I am auto self correcting.  I scrutinize my level of negativity with you.  You are making me desire to be a nice person.  That is not any Betty I have ever met but here she is.  The Betty I know is a double edged sword that is not safe to handle, but yet here still you are, brave enough to wield even having been forewarned. I love it that I have the superpower of "thinking of things that are amazing about you and then saying it out loud." Today has been the best day ever!  Aft...

Hey Brian, Ever since my children left me I've lost the markers of time. Days flow together. One day is no different than the next. It's not like I have the wonder of Christmas to wake up to, to see what Santa Claus has brought Breeanna.   I look at other families in awe knowing that they have it all, the time markers, things that make other things real, shared moments. I've had my day in the sun and it is what it is.   I can deal. I can cope. I'm a stoic. Discomfort is my comfort zone. I'm a realist. Now, all of a sudden, I get another chance at family, at making things special, at marking time, at cherishing moments. It's back to the chocolate factory for me where things are routinized. We work on the clock with the conveyor belt of time. Christmas then New Year. Yes. I have to get you a puppy for Christmas or shortly thereafter. It's my quest. The satisfaction of your happiness. Yes. You're getting an Xbox because I can't imagine a...

Hey Brian, Thank you so much for being a part of my life.  You take care of the parts of me that I don't know how to take care of.  You're so important to me. You add brightness to my day.  I'm grateful for all the awesome, amazing ways that you are. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have your attention.  Everytime I ask you if I can talk to you, and you actually listen to the things that I say, it's such a gift to me. You're so much a man that fills my heart. I love the air that I breathe because you allow me to share with you the things that I find delightful.  Betty Bassett ... It's thundering so hard Brian.  It must be awfully scary out there. I know that you're working so hard to get things done. It's truly a miracle that you can do this. It just blows my mind.   Thank you for being you. I wanted to share with you the philosophy of stoicism. "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts." It's temp...

Hey Brian, I'm sorry for breaking your email.  Thank you for not killing me.  The gray paint in the adjoining room is stunning and calming at the same time.  I'm so beyond excited that you're painting the room for me.   Thank you for sharing your music with me.  I love watching you sing along.  Also I love watching you make fun of Bob Ross.  You're just adorable. I'm glad that you will be keeping yourself safe for me so that I don't worry when you're not with me.  I'm so happy that you like my massages.  I think it's bonding. I'm glad that you will be moving in.  It was good that we addressed your concerns.  There is uncertainty in the world but I want you to know that I'm your safe place.  I will protect you. You make my life joyous and pleasant.  You are thoughtful and generous in all things.  Thank you for indulging my countless requests for affection.  There's this magnetic quality that you have.  Y...

 Hey Brian, I had the funnest time riding on the bus with you. I'm glad you got the rundown on how dangerous I am; how I'm a lethal weapon because I've learned so much from watching martial arts movies. I love being with you. You make me smile. Thank you for helping me put the lamps together and moving the couch from the bedroom. There's so much more space. Being with you is the brightest part of my day. Thank you for indulging all my questions about how you process the world. I'm just so curious about things because I'm an amateur psychologist, self proclaimed. I loved that you made the time to listen to me in everything that I say. You make me feel so important, like I'm so entertaining that I have your attention. How lucky am I? I love explains timelines and histories. Thank you for indulging me. You're so much a man that fills my heart. I love the air that I breathe because you allow me to share with you the things that I find delightful. ...

 Letter to my boyfriend... Hey Brian, I cannot believe that you cleaned out an entire bedroom in one day! You are a miracle worker with skills. What you accomplished is so mind bending that it's hard to conceive that a person can be that capable.   In the afternoon I got a text from Mike that asked if I was okay and it simply let out a floodgate. My relationship with him has been so pivotal in my life. I felt like I failed as a person when I failed in my friendship with him. I love the moment between you and I where I was utterly vulnerable and drowning, and in that moment, you saw me.   Then afterwards, I got a distress signal on my phone from my mom in Las Vegas. It said that my mother was in an emergency SOS situation. I was frozen with fear. I tried to get the police to come to her location and waited breathlessly. I hadn't realized that I was on her emergency contact notification in case of a crisis. I imagined every possible scenario that could hav...

 Hey Brian, Thank you so much for helping me with the bathroom! It's perfectly glistening. You really know how to take care of things.   It was really fun going to the store with you. I love all the awesome small things that just adds brightness to a day. I loved that you made the time to listen to me aww in recounting Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything. Thank you for allowing me to recount my wonder at the stupid, crazy things that I learn everyday. You're so much a man that fills my heart. I love the air that I breathe because you allow me to share with you the things that I find delightful.